3 Reasons Why You Should Ignore Your ‘Villain-xiety’—By A Psychologist

Villains are usually meant to be the characters you root against—the ones standing in the way of the hero’s journey. But sometimes, despite their flaws, you can’t help but feel drawn to them. Maybe you understand their struggles, sympathize with their pain or even see a bit of yourself in their story.

This affinity is not just about their charm or complexity—it reflects something deeper. A 2020 study published in Psychological Science suggests that when the fear of self-comparison is removed, villains become less of a threat and more of a mirror. Their emotions and challenges tap into something personal, offering a safe way to explore the sides of yourself that do not always fit the traditional idea of “goodness.”

Classic research published in Psychological Review on the “self-discrepancy theory,” proposed by E. Tory Higgins explains this discomfort. It suggests that you compare your actual self (who you are) to your ideal self (who you want to be) and your ought self (who you think you should be). When there’s a gap between these versions, it can create emotional distress, such as anxiety or frustration.

But in fiction, that fear is lowered, allowing us to reflect on these traits without the usual discomfort. Here are three research-backed reasons why you relate more to the “bad guy.”

1. They Reflect Your Hidden Struggles

Villains often have flaws, insecurities and painful pasts that feel deeply human. Unlike heroes, who typically follow a moral code and make the “right” choices, villains act out of raw emotions.

They struggle with rejection, failure and even self-doubt—feelings that might resonate with your own experiences. Their actions, whether driven by a need for control, validation or revenge, can mirror hidden fears and unresolved wounds you may not always acknowledge.

When a villain lashes out because they feel unworthy or abandoned, it can reflect the discomfort of facing your own insecurities. Their relentless pursuit of power or acceptance might symbolize an inner desire to prove yourself in a world that often feels indifferent. Because their flaws are exaggerated, they spotlight emotions that are easy to suppress in daily life.

However, instead of letting this connection remain passive, you can use it as a tool for self-reflection. The next time you feel drawn to a villain, ask yourself:

• What aspects of their struggle feel personal to you?
• Do you ever suppress similar emotions in real life?
• How do they cope with their pain, and how does that compare to your own responses?

It does not mean you are evil or exactly like them—it just means you recognize parts of yourself that are not always easy to admit to. It’s important to remember that this is absolutely normal. Fiction gives you this space to explore emotions safely, without judgment, helping you understand yourself a little better in the process.

By examining these connections, you can gain insight into your own emotions and thought patterns, turning fictional stories into a form of self-discovery rather than just entertainment.

2. They Challenge The Rules You Question

While heroes often represent order and morality, villains dare to challenge the system. They question authority, defy societal norms and refuse to conform to expectations—something that can feel oddly satisfying, especially if you’ve ever felt restricted by unfair rules or misunderstood for thinking differently.

Villains often arise from frustration with a world that has failed them. Whether it’s a corrupt system, an unjust hierarchy or personal betrayal, their rebellion stems from a desire to take control. If you’ve ever experienced moments of powerlessness—whether in school, work or relationships—you might relate to their resistance, even if their methods cross ethical lines.

This does not mean you should justify harmful behavior, but it can be useful to reflect on what draws you to their defiance. Consider asking yourself:

• Are there rules in your life that feel limiting or unfair?
• Do you suppress frustration instead of addressing it?
• How can you channel your desire for change in a constructive way?

Relating to a villain’s rebellion often just means that you recognize the flaws in the world around you—and questioning those flaws is not a bad thing.

3. They Embrace What Society Rejects

Villains often embody traits that society discourages—whether it’s raw ambition, unfiltered anger or an unwillingness to conform. While heroes are expected to be selfless and restrained, villains do not hold back. They take up space and pursue what they want without apology.

This can be compelling because, at some level, you may have been taught to suppress certain aspects of yourself. Maybe you have held back anger to avoid conflict, downplayed ambition to seem humble or ignored your true desires to fit in. When a villain fully embraces what you’ve been told to hide, it can feel oddly liberating—even if you do not agree with their choices or actions.

Fiction makes it easier to connect with these characters without the fear of real-world consequences. In a story, you can explore emotions like defiance, desire or even ruthlessness without actually acting on them. This safe distance allows you to examine what parts of yourself you might be suppressing and why.

Instead of rejecting these feelings, try to explore them. Ask yourself:

• Are there emotions or traits you’ve been suppressing out of fear or shame?
• How can you express your emotions in a way that aligns with your values?
• What would it look like to own your confidence without guilt?

This does not imply that you support a villain’s wrongdoings—it means you are recognizing parts of yourself that deserve acknowledgment, too.

It’s Okay To Relate To The Villain

It’s important to remember that familiarity with a villain is normal and does not mean you are rooting for destruction. It just means you see something human in them. Maybe it’s the way Loki masks his pain with playful arrogance, how Harley Quinn reclaims her identity after being controlled or how Killmonger’s anger stems from real injustice. These characters resonate because they tap into emotions that exist in all of us—grief, frustration, ambition and, quite often, the need to be seen.

Stories allow you to explore these sides of yourself safely, without consequences. You aren’t just watching a villain’s downfall; you’re understanding what drives them. And in that understanding, there is an opportunity—to recognize, reflect and maybe even rewrite your own narrative in a way that serves you better.

Are you really accepting yourself without any judgements? Take this science-backed test to find out: Unconditional Self-Acceptance Questionnaire